Do you try to maintain harmony in your relationships, but often feel as though your own needs are not met? Are you giving up your needs to please someone else?
A colleague once told me that a co-worker had a “my way or the highway” attitude. It was causing friction in the department. It sounded as though the co-worker used a competing conflict strategy to resolve problems.
People who avoid conflicts believe that conflict is negative, so they steer clear of it. An avoider is akin to a turtle that pulls his head into his shell and denies that the conflict exists. Avoiders also change the topic when someone attempts to engage them in the resolution process, or they ask noncommittal questions, such as “What do you think?”
People learn a predominant conflict style from their families, experiences, and social interactions. As a result, everyone does not address conflicts in the same way. These different styles can exacerbate the situation, especially when people do not understand why people react in certain ways. A popular conflict style assessment instrument, The Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument, identifies five basic conflict management styles, including:
Read more: 1) Can you identify your style of confronting conflict?